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We've been close companions for over two decades, a person who's faced and conquered many obstacles, and I respect her for that. But, she's constantly blindsided by people. Her spouse ended their marriage, and it was a huge shock. Several of her friends disappeared then, because they seemed drawn to him. She was stunned by her. She made more effort toward our bond, likely realised better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

Throughout this period, many close to her have drifted apart without her being certain of the reason. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, even though she had been very skilled at her work, she departed not understanding what had changed.

Current Dynamics

Recently, we've both retired leading to more each other more, but I am finding my position in the relationship is as the audience. I introduce discussion points but she shifts them to her own topics. In terms of politics, she holds unyielding views. I try to propose factchecking and alternate views.

She has been arranging a trip abroad I have traveled to repeatedly and resided in for some time. I tried to provide insights, yet it was met with resistance. She essentially only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I recently returned from a month there she is eager to reconnect, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who cuts and runs abruptly, however, I feel she'll truly comprehend the effect of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, I find myself in avoidance mode. What should I do?

Ways Forward

It's possible to cut and run, but it is rarely the easy answer we imagine. However, addressing it with a view to working things out demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially requires explaining the usual pattern when you talk. This needs to be based on facts like exactly what occurs. The second is to express how this leaves you feeling. This allows for no dispute about this. What you feel belong to you, of course. Finally is to question how you are both will alter the pattern of your friendship."

Keep in mind she too has a point of view, meaning you must to remain ready to acknowledge it. An approach that works is telling your friend:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to listen without interrupting for a set time."

This can be impactful to encourage understanding.

Final Thoughts

This person might reject everything, as some people cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a version regarding their experiences they won't let go of since their identity relies on it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge when there seems no easy route here, only cul-de-sacs. But she may start out defensively before reflecting about what you've said. And even if you never reach a resolution, it provides closure from having been honest with her.